It's band
by AliceInCrazyland15
Summary: Read it, you will laugh your butt off if your in a marching band. you know most to all of it's true, just admit it
1. Chapter 1

**BAND…IT'S BAND…**

You hate football but you go to every single game.

Practice in the heat, perform in the stormy rain, or snow…

Your fellow section member annoy you yet you spend all your time with them.

You love your drill instructor…when he off the field.

You've seen all the male band member's boxers…sometimes more…

You do random crap and you don't care who's watching.

You play the band dating game every year.

When the non-bandies think the dating game is cute you just think that it's incest.

Quitting band would be like committing suicide.

We like to chill in the shakos cause they're awesome…

Do Band, Band is fun…NOT!!

When the band director promises "last time" you know he's lying.

When practice runs late, and the staff wants to do a few more runs, you don't tell them.

You spend more time in the band than at home.

When you have 50 or more "mamas" and "papas"

You daydream about dating the drum major.

All of your dreams are band related.

You have no life…band is life

You like watching the battery do warm-ups and think that's just flat out amazing.

You bring your instrument home everyday to practice.

You watch the guard and run.

You lost your virginity to a flag pole.

Drumline is HOT!!

You learn multiple instruments.

You ditch class to hang out in the band room.

You eat lunch in the band office.

Everyday, in every class, the director kicks something

You babysit the director's kids for fun

The staff, off field, act weirder than they do on field.

DON'T DROP THE BABY!!!

You are good friends with the staff…when they are not yelling at you.

You wanna kill people that don't keep their feet in time after a month.

You wanna yell at the staff "YOU HOLD UP THIS HORN!!!"

DON'T DROP THE INSTURMENT!!!! YOU WILL DIE!!!

Be careful changing on the bus…you don't want to break a window.

Changing on Tangerine Road is like riding a roller coaster but better…

You bring a huge back pack full of candy for an half hour bus ride.

When said student brings said back pack, she gets jumped for the candy.

Being best friend with said person helps a lot…you get first pick

TOUCH MY INSTURMENT…YOU WILL DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH!!!!

You know all about the affairs of everyone else in the band.

It is to possible to fall asleep on the bus, on the bench and wake up in the asile.

The band rides the yellow dogs while the football teams rides the greyhounds.

NEVER tease your hair in the stands…you will be made fun for the rest of the season.

You have more than one class in the band room

You want to be the director's class aide…

When you become the director's aide…you want out ASAP

COME NEAR MY INSTURMENT…YOU WILL MORE THAN LIKELY DIE.

NEVER stand within 50 feet of a guard member when nothing is in their hands…a flying projectile will come your way

You CRY when marching season is over, though now you have time to have a life.

**Tangerine road is full of washes and dips. **

**All of these are true yes band kids are odd, that's why you love us.**

**Please review, if you do we will post more, probably dedicating whole chapters to one section. Give us ideas, we know were not the only weird band out there **

**--AliceCullenGeek and Hravart**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n: ok folks! Here's the next 50 things! No thanks to my partner in crime, she never gave me her list!!!!! But she is still helpin. The next one is already in the making, as well as the section ones! Any suggestions for the sections are welcome, we can only accurately do 3 of them, so help would be nice. Enjoy! If you want any expiations on things you're having trouble understanding you have to drop a review! :P**

**Thanks to People are Crazy for some of the ideas used in this chapter!**

Play like a rabid dog

Play like a baby

Don't stab the baby!

Play like a kitten

Having your director sing a yo gabba gabba song on the podium

Having said director admit he watches the show with and without his 2 year old son

Giving nick names to your band crushes, examples cougar man, prince aloha, zebra…

Realizing that your band director looks like a pear.

Marching on a sprained/ twisted ankle

Puking at band camp.

Almost having to shut down band camp due to the number of people passing out from their diet, not eating breakfast

Dropping Dr. Beat on purpose, then crying when you realize you broke it.

Creating a huge string of glow sticks in the band hallway after the light parade.

Wanting to destroy the wood block

Bribing the low brass to hide Dr. beat and the woodblock

Forcibly cutting the boy's hair, which was longer than all the girls

Showing your love by threatening to kill.

Most of the girls crushing on the drum line guys

Having a really hot field instructor, then figuring out he's gay

Having a pool of muck, most likely cow poop

Nick naming that pool of muck the cesspool

Having to march through the cesspool, at 180.

Trying to bribe the freshmen to jump in said pool

Wiping your muddy feet on your section leader

Band is like driving a car, so we should do well

Yet all band members have been in wrecks….

Finding a raisin in your band locker

Said raisin wasn't a raisin to begin with….

Taping up your feet because you forgot black socks

Spelling your name with your butt

Laughing at the freshmen when they actually believe the BD

Buying your BD a broken watch to save him the trouble

Trying to predict what the BD's child will play, drums or tuba.

Singing the show in a dust storm

Watching the tower blow away in said storm

Crying because that tower was so much better than this new one

Crying when you don't make finals

Crying when you do make finals

Murdering the freshmen who were glad they didn't have to perform again

Do not make the band instructor mad!

If your out of step you die!

What happens in band stays in band

If you fall in a puddle you will never forget it

Your crazier in band then you are otherwise

If your phone vibrates in your pocket it won't shut up and you are out of step

Things get serious when there is a competition

You always get hurt some way some how

When the three euphoniums are told to play quieter, that's scary

You gave up and joined crowed, only wearing shorts and a sports bra/bear chest

The whole band bought sombreros

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

This may be pointless but I don't care! It's fun!!1

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

\/

Review or the guard will start singing again!!! Please, save me from the singing!!!!


	3. AN! AN! AN!

Hello to anyone who is still interested in these story. Here's the deal, my computer decided to get sick, then die. I hope it had a very painful death because it was evil and liked drawing out its sickness. Also, all my stories were lost. Anyway, I have a new computer, and as soon as I get some time among all the end of the year madness and my chronic laziness, I will update and revamp my stories, I will not delete them, just improve them. Same story lines and characters, "Not the only freaks in the non human world" will more than likely receive a new title. My friend's story will get updated as soon as she gets over her own chronic laziness and I give her a copy of what she's already written. Thank you for your time and this note will disappear as soon as I update each story.


End file.
